


God in Chicago

by MsMrs



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Eleven is dead, Depressing, Drug Use, Drugs, F/M, One Shot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 13:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14081466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMrs/pseuds/MsMrs
Summary: But it's so goddamn sad in her house right nowHe’s still here in everythingShe just needs a break from itSongfic, based on God in Chicago by Craig Finn.It's depressing. Honestly. Like, really depressing.





	God in Chicago

**Author's Note:**

> Dammit, I just can't bring myself to go on with my series. Is that, like, selective writer's block or something? I don't know. Anyways, I blurt this out in a few hours because I didn't have anything better to do.
> 
> youtu.be/IfZt4JRKtN0  
> Official video.

_Her mom found her brother_  
_Then she found the container_  
_Wrapped up in a newspaper_  
_Stuffed in a duffel bag_  
_With Hockey pads and seven grand in rubber bands_  
_We didn‘t speak at the service_

 

 

**September 1989**

 

I didn‘t even know why I was there, to be honest. Why I was invited. Just an ex-boyfriend. I couldn‘t even make out Steve Harrington anywhere near. Will was invited, of course, but it had been four years since I had anything to do with the Wheeler family. Not that there was much of a family left by the time I set foot back in Hawkins, Indiana. With the father, Ted Wheeler, long gone and nowhere to be found, and Mike, my brother‘s best friend, dead, not a lot remained. I wanted to talk to Nancy. I really did, but under the circumstances, I didn‘t know what I could possibly say. Four whole years since we had said goodbye, went our separate ways, agreeing only on the fact that we wanted different things, and never looked back. At least I knew, I never had. It had all been just school, work, school, work, school, repeat, from then on. Now I was standing there, wearing the only suit I owned, in front of an open grave, watching the black coffin being lowered into the cold ground. Colorful leaves tumbled across the cemetery, but the sky was gray. Gray as everyone‘s faces around me. I kept as much distance to the Wheeler family as I could, standing between my mother, who was pressing a napkin to the corners of her eyes from time to time, and my brother, who looked like he could only either keep his face, or his posture, deciding for the latter, to avoid collapsing. They weren‘t the reason why I couldn‘t bring myself to pay attention to the service, though. It was Nancy. Four years. Staring at that stone cold face, that didn‘t stand out against the crowd behind her in the least, I couldn‘t help but ask myself how we could have ever let it come to this. But we didn‘t speak at the service. And Nancy wasn‘t crying.

 

\--------------------

 

„Jon? Jonathan!“ my mother called me, sounding no different than usual, albeit slightly worried. I had decided to stay with my family for a few days, because I didn‘t have a job to return to at the moment, and for Will‘s sake.

 

„Yeah?“ I said, spotting her in the kitchen, with the phone in hand. She pressed it to her shoulder, and quietly told me „It‘s Nancy. She wants to talk to you.“ Nodding, I gulped. What could she possibly want from me right now? Talk about _us_? I hoped that wasn‘t the case. I took the phone from my mom‘s hand, before she whispered something in the lines of „I‘m gonna leave you alone for a bit.“, and headed off towards Will‘s room. In hopes she‘d have more luck talking to my brother, I said „Nancy?“

 

„Jon...“ I almost didn‘t recognize her voice. It wasn‘t hoarse as I had expected, just weirdly unfamiliar, maybe because such a long time had passed since I‘d last heard it. „I wanted to talk to you about something.“

 

„Do you think I‘m the right person for this, Nance?“ My doubts slipped out of my mouth before I could contain them. „It‘s been so long, I mean, I‘m not exactly-“

 

„You don‘t even know what this is about.“ she insisted. „I‘m not looking for a shoulder to cry on, okay?“

 

„Okay... I‘m listening.“

 

„Promise you‘re not gonna rat me out. I know your mom‘s still close with the chief.“ she firmly said, and I could only promise. No matter what it was, she was still Nancy Wheeler. It couldn‘t be that bad. Certainly not bad enough to land her in jail.

 

„M...“ she started, swallowing hard at the attempt of saying his name. „My brother left something behind. I... I gotta get rid of it, but... look I‘m in a desperate situation here.“

 

„I‘m listening.“ I repeated. „Nancy I know it‘s been a long time, but you can tell me anything.“ I could hear her taking a few deep breaths before continuing.

 

„I need money, Jon. Things aren‘t working out as I had planned right now and... it‘s an opportunity.“ Every word Nancy spoke got me more worried. „I should just throw it into the quarry or something.“

 

„Nancy, what is it?“ I finally asked through her more or less mindless muttering, surprised at how impatient I sounded.

 

„He sold drugs, Jon.“ Nancy stated, quieter and colder than I‘d ever heard her. „I found money. A lot. And a black ball, Jon, I think it‘s Heroin.“ For me, it took a while to let that sink. A long while. It wasn‘t what I had expected, actually, it wasn‘t something I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams. Mike Wheeler hadn‘t exactly been my friend, but I had known him well enough to rule something like that out completely.

 

„What do you want me to do?“

 

„Do you know anyone who could take care of this?“ Now, her words, her assumptions about me knowing these kind of people, should have probably upset me, even enraged me. As a matter of fact, though, I knew someone.

 

„You want me to sell it for you.“ I just had to clarify that first. I wasn‘t sure about it anyways. When Nancy didn‘t respond, I said „I‘m gonna try to call someone. If everything works out, I‘m gonna come by your house tomorrow at noon and pick it up.“ The following seconds, I couldn‘t hear anything but her breathing through the line. She hung up without another word.

 

\--------------------

 

Castle Byers was still standing, and right now, it was exactly the place for us to be. There were things I had to ask. Things our mother could never know.

 

„Nancy called.“ I said, sitting opposite to Will. We were both leaning against the crummy wooden walls around us. The wind blew through the holes and gaps in between the boards we had put together years earlier, before things had gone to shit for everyone. It made me shiver. At the sound of her name, Will blinked a few times, remaining silent. I went on „Listen, bud... There are things I just gotta know. You don‘t have to talk. Just nod, okay?“ Will nodded. I knew, there wasn‘t an easy way to do this.

 

„It was an undiagnosed heart condition, wasn‘t it?“ My brother shuddered a bit, but he nodded again.

 

„That‘s what the Wheelers told everyone. But you know better, don‘t you?“ The expression of shock on my brother‘s face almost had me in tears for the first time since I had come back. He knew. „She...“

 

„She told you what he was doing.“ Will croaked, voice high pitched and hoarse. „Did he really... overdose?“

 

„Nancy didn‘t tell me.“ I admitted. „But I think he did. Will... I hate to ask this, but did you or any of your-“

 

„No.“ he said quietly. „But we didn‘t try to stop him, either.“ Something inside of him had broken, I could sense it. That very moment, something snapped. I had seen him crying at the service, on the drive back home, in his room. But not like this. Will didn‘t have to say it. He was blaming himself, and the only thing I could do, was to be there. And that just wasn‘t enough.

 

\--------------------

 

Only now, that my mom had gone to work, I could make the necessary call. It was the morning after the funeral. Will was still in his room, hopefully sleeping. For a minute, I rummaged through my backpack, shoved aside a camera, a few film rolls and lenses, until I found the small, red book I was looking for. Over the years, hopping from job to job, I had learned to value connections. Even with people I‘d much rather forget. Wayne from Winnetka was one of those people. In fact, he was one of those people I would have liked to kill at that point in my life. Why hadn‘t I already crossed out his number in the book? Why hadn‘t I just ripped out the page and burned it? Honestly, I didn‘t know. All I knew was, he was the only person I knew who could probably handle this. And he wasn‘t too far away, either. As far as I knew, he lived in Chicago now. We had only known each other for a few months though, and I doubted he could even remember me.

 

_But Wayne from Winnetka picked up on the first ring_

 

Somewhere deep down, I had actually hoped I wouldn‘t be able to reach him.

 

„Who‘s this?“ he bluntly asked. There was no doubt it was him. I recognized Wayne by the way he talked, uncivil most of the time.

 

„Wayne. It‘s Jonathan Byers.“

 

„Well, fuck me!“ he shouted loud enough to make my left ear ring. He remembered. „Byers! The fuck have you been up to lately?“ His casual demeanor ignited an amount of rage so intense, I needed all my willpower to contain it. Instead of falling for his chit-chatting I went right to business.

 

„You don‘t actually care, and it‘s none of your business anyways. I‘m calling because I have to sell something. Ball of H.“ I figured, after everything that had happened, it shouldn‘t have been so god damn easy to say it. I wondered if there was anything wrong with me in that regard.

 

„Not even a few nice words for an old friend, Byers?“

 

„Wayne, we‘re not friends okay? You want it, or not?“ Just thirty seconds of talking to the guy, and I was already as annoyed as I had been after a week of sharing a dorm room with him.

 

„How much?“ he asked.

 

„What do you mean?“

 

„How much, as in weight.“ Wayne sighed.

 

„Don‘t know. Friend of mine found it and called me about it.“ I shrugged. „She said it‘s about as big as a baseball.“ The astonished whistling sound he made came across distorted and crackling.

 

„I got to admit, Byers, I‘m offended.“ he said, back to trying to make conversation for some reason. „You get hold of a ball of H, and the first thing you do is call me? Like, I‘m the criminal?“

 

„Wayne!“ I snapped, seriously fed up with him now. „Are you gonna take it or not? I need an answer now. Leave it or take it.“

 

„Desperate for money, huh? Selling stuff isn‘t like you.“ he teased.

 

„I‘m hanging u-“

 

„Wait!“ The sudden shout caused me to flinch. It looked like I wasn‘t getting out of this.

 

\--------------------

 

Nancy wasn‘t wearing black anymore. I hadn‘t seen her from up close for years. She didn‘t look any different. That same haircut. Those same eyes. Everything about her was so damn familiar. Just dull. A gray veil seemed to hang around her, as she was standing in the door to the Wheeler house. How long hadn‘t I been near it? I remembered how roomy it was. And how full of life, when I came along for Will‘s visits. Even from Nancy‘s room, we could always hear the boys yelling and laughing in the basement. Now, it was as quiet as the cemetery had been the day before. The silence between us was different. Uncomfortable. Shattering.

 

„Is your mom home?“ I asked quietly. She nodded in response.

 

„Sleeping.“

 

„I found someone in Chicago. I... I could be back with the money tonight.“ Nancy took a few deep breaths, before she whispered „Come in.“ I reluctantly followed her inside, knowing, this was going to stir up too much of a past I somehow wanted back, but on the other side wanted to get away from. Why hadn‘t anything about this house changed? This place had 1985 written all over it. So had Nancy. I, on the other hand, had gone through several haircuts, phases of clothing, apartments... girlfriends...

 

„It‘s still in his room.“ Nancy said over her shoulder, leading the way upstairs. I could hear my own heartbeat rushing through my ears. The stale air seemed to press down on me with an unbearable amount of force. As far as I knew, I had never seen Mike‘s room from the inside. There were Star Wars posters. That was the first thing I noticed, because Will had those same posters in his room. He and Mike seemingly both had never gotten the feeling of being too old to enjoy this. This was also evident from the figurines, Dungeons & Dragons rulebooks and campaign folders, and the drawings. I couldn‘t help but hold my breath when I recognized them. Some of them portrayed the boys‘ fantasy characters, others were just landscapes. All of them had been drawn by Will.

 

„Take this.“ Nancy snapped me out of my thoughts. I almost choked on my own saliva when I saw what she was handing me. Money. A lot of it. „It‘s half of what I found with the... you know. I think it‘s just fair if we split it.“

 

„Nancy I can‘t-“

 

„Take it, for fuck‘s sake.“ she hissed. „You‘re putting yourself in danger here.“

 

„You said you needed money.“ I went on protesting, for whatever reason.

  
„God knows you do too.“ Nancy said. „Don‘t think I haven‘t noticed you‘re still driving that old Ford.“ Not allowing for further protest, she opened my limp hand by force, pressed the bundle of bills into my palm, and closed my fingers around it. „Don‘t say another word about it.“ I complied, instead looking for the actual reason for being here. Nancy produced the black ball, surrounded by a few layers of plastic wrap. The sight of it disgusted me. In a few days, people would be shooting this up their veins. Some would probably die. I only realized how little I wanted to touch it, when I had already taken it from Nancy‘s hand. I couldn‘t wait to get rid of it and forget about what had happened. We left her brother‘s room as quietly as we had entered it, as to not disturb Karen Wheeler, or Holly, wherever she was. Downstairs, Nancy took a short detour to the kitchen, and came back with a large thermos.

 

„Coffee.“ she said, handing it over. I had my hand on the doorknob, desperate to escape the silence, maybe even escape her, but slow, dragging footsteps, and a weak, confused voice from upstairs made me stop dead in my tracks.

 

„Nancy? Nancy, I... I can‘t find... I can‘t find Mike... is he out with his friends?“ In an instant, Nancy‘s eyes grew wide. The sudden feeling of her hand on mine startled me, when she reached for the doorknob herself, before pushing me outside.

 

„Out. Out!“ she muttered, not so much to me, but to herself, as it seemed. She followed me, slamming the door shut behind herself. With a firm grip on my shoulder, Nancy walked me to the car. She didn‘t say a word. She didn‘t cry. Instead, she dropped into the passenger seat.

 

„You wanna come with?“

 

„I have to.“ she croaked. „I just... can‘t stay here. This house... my mom...“ I didn‘t object to that. Nancy needed space, so I wordlessly started the Ford‘s engine, and pulled away from the curb.

 

„Is Holly gonna be alright alone with your mom?“

 

„She‘s with my grandparents for the rest of the week.“ Nancy shook her head. „I wouldn‘t leave her alone with mom. She‘s just too... I don‘t know.“ The familiar streets of Hawkins were almost empty. Near the town limits, we came across Hopper in his Blazer, who greeted us by tipping his hat. I hadn‘t thought of it before, but he probably knew the truth about Mike. Most likely. If that was the case, he was probably, in a way, covering for the Wheeler family. After half an hour of silence, Nancy reached for the radio, pressing buttons, but to no avail.

 

„Backseat.“ I said, pointing my thumb in the direction of the boombox in the back. „I think it‘s almost out of batteries, though.“ Shrugging, Nancy pressed Play on the cassette player, without even knowing what tape was inside. I couldn‘t remember, but it seemed like, at some point I had pressed Stop in the middle of Prince‘s ‚Little Red Corvette‘, so we still had most of the album ahead of us. The tape was still playing, now a bit wobbly, when we reached the Interstate. Even now, that the songs sounded increasingly distorted due to low battery power, Nancy tried to sing along, with an eerie smile, that didn‘t quite reach her eyes. The gray sky had begun pouring water down on the road, and I adapted my speed a bit, since I didn‘t want them to find us by the side of the road, dead or severely injured, with a ball of heroin and a couple of thousand dollars.

 

„Who is this guy we‘re meeting, anyways?“ Nancy sighed, when she switched the tape for ‚Led Zeppelin III‘. While she was at it, she took out the batteries, switching them up to draw a bit more power out of them. It was enough for the music to sound like actual music again, if only for half an hour.

 

„Wayne...“ I said carefully. „Wayne‘s a bastard.“ Glad we had found a topic that could lead to an honest talk, I went on. „Met him in my Eau Claire dorm a few years back.“

 

„You dropped out of there, didn‘t you?“

 

„Yeah. Fucked up my two semesters so bad, I didn‘t have a choice. Don‘t wanna blame anyone but myself. Still, I think he was part of the problem. Talked me into a lot of shit. Like... drinking... getting high... you know. Now he‘s working for his father‘s shipping company, I guess. At least, that‘s what he always said when people told him he‘s not gonna make it through college. ‚Whatever, I‘m just here for the parties, my dad‘s gonna get me a job‘. Let‘s just not spend too much with him. We‘re gonna meet at some Mexican restaurant near Midway Airport.“

 

„What about yourself?“ Nancy asked. She sounded casual, but honestly interested.

 

„I‘m getting by.“ I shrugged. „Freelance photography isn‘t exactly a goldmine, so... you were right, I need the money. But I‘m fine. You?“ Nancy didn‘t answer for a while, seemingly fighting herself about what to say.

 

„This is so fucking wrong.“ she finally whispered. „I‘m a nurse, Jon.“ That much I had heard from my mom. „Do you know how many people die of overdosing? I‘m about to sell that shit, and it‘s likely gonna kill people like-“ She stopped mid-sentence, but I knew what she wanted to say. Mike was the elephant in the room here.

 

„I don‘t like it either.“

 

„You never had to deal with patients that... sorry, that came out wrong.“ She had begun playing with her hair, like she always did when she was nervous. „I‘m just saying... I wouldn‘t do it if I didn‘t have to support my mom. She hasn‘t been herself ever since my... since Ted left. We can‘t even sell the house. He still owns half of it.“ The boombox in the backseat eventually died, and Nancy let out a frustrated huff.

 

\--------------------

 

We arrived early. It would be at least an hour until Wayne would arrive. Up here, it was colder than in Hawkins, though the sky had mercifully cleared up a bit. There was still no sun in sight, though. We had Mexican food that was alright, considering the terrible state the restaurant was in. Hot, smelly, noisy, and dirty, even without closer inspection. I just hoped it wouldn‘t make us sick. I picked one or two hairs, that looked like they originated from the chef‘s back or armpits, out of my tacos. At least, it was better than just waiting out in the cold. The old Mustang that pulled into the parking lot some time later could only be Wayne‘s. It had been red once, but now, it was more rust than car. When he killed the engine, it produced a terribly loud bang, that was followed by some commotion, and what I supposed was Spanish swearing, from the kitchen.

 

„Let‘s head outside.“ Nancy was already on her feet. I saw Wayne for the first time in two years. The first thing I noticed was, how fat he had gotten. Otherwise, he still wore the same kind of hoodie, sneakers held together by duct tape, and loose fitting jeans.

 

„Byers!“ he shouted. That was Wayne. No sense for privacy or discretion.

 

„Shut the fuck up.“ I hissed. „People around here don‘t need to know my name. My car. Now.“

 

„Easy there, pal!“ he laughed at me, in a way that made me want to throw up. „Aren‘t you going to introduce me to the lady?“ Wayne smirked at Nancy, but she wouldn‘t have it.

 

„I could introduce myself if I wanted you to know who I am.“ she snapped. Wayne‘s face dropped, and he shrugged.

 

„You‘re the friend who found the stuff, I guess. Good enough for me. Your car, you say?“ I led the way to a far corner of the parking lot. I had parked my Ford against a wall, next to a massive Jeep, so no one could possibly see inside without us noticing. Wayne and I got in the front seats, Nancy slipped into the back, shoving aside the now useless boombox. After I had opened the glove box, I didn‘t even get a chance to take the ball out, before Wayne had already grabbed it.

 

„A fucking baseball, you didn‘t exaggerate, Byers.“ Carefully, he undid the wrapping. What followed was a showcase of his expertise when it came to drugs. He used a small electronic scale he had kept under his hoodie to weigh it. It took a minute or two, but Wayne eventually declared „This is decent quality. Fifteen grand.“ At that, Nancy coughed in the backseat. A sudden burst of orange evening light flooded the parking lot, and hurt my eyes through the rearview mirror.

 

_And counting all the money in front of him seemed silly_  
_This isn’t the movies_  
_It was over so quickly_  
_Wayne got in his car_  
_Drove into the sunset, turned left onto Cermak_  
_And she turned to me and said:_  
  
_I’ve never been to Chicago_  
_I got nothing going on tomorrow_  
_Maybe we could stay here tonight_  
_Lose ourselves in the glass and light_

 

_\--------------------_

 

And so we stayed. From the payphone in the parking lot, I called my mother to let her know I wouldn‘t make it tonight. Nancy didn‘t call home. On the drive to the city, Nancy‘s face showed a bit of the euphoria I felt. We each had eleven grand on hand. There was an unspoken agreement between us now, that we needed something fancy. So we ended up in front of a receptionist at the Hyatt on Michigan Avenue just before sunset. Already though, the sky was back to a gray wall of clouds. All over the streets and sidewalks, the rain had left small puddles.

 

„Sir? Ma‘am?“ the receptionist asked politely, but at a volume that startled me, and seemingly, Nancy too.

 

„I‘m sorry. What was the question?“ I asked, wondering how I could have zoned out like that.

 

„I was asking, do you want single rooms, or a double?“

 

„S-“ I started, but Nancy was quicker.

 

„Double.“ she said firmly, and all I could do, was nod and repeat „Double. Yeah... double.“ The receptionist gave me a weird look when I paid in cash. I didn‘t mind too much. Her face grew even more confused, when she offered to have our bags taken inside.

 

„We... don‘t have anything with us. It‘s just one night.“ After she had given me she key, I could pretty much feel her eyes piercing the back of my head, all the way through the entrance, back onto the sidewalk.

 

\--------------------

 

„So... what are we gonna do now?“ Nancy smirked, eying the toothbrushes we had just bought at Wallgreens.

 

„What do you mean?“ I asked. I could still feel the elephant in the room uncomfortably. Under the circumstances, Nancy seemed just too excited about everything. „This was your idea. You tell me what to do now.“

 

„Let‘s get something to eat. I‘m starving. These filthy tacos just didn‘t cut it. Come on, we got enough money to go some place nice.“

 

„Yeah.“ I huffed. „Enough money, but nothing to wear. Did you notice how the receptionist looked at us?“ Nancy shrugged.

 

„So? Why should we care? No one around here knows us, and as long as they get their money, there‘s no reason to complain. Let‘s just... you know... see where our feet carry us. I‘m in the mood for that.“ For an hour or so, we wandered the busy streets, now already dark, illuminated only by neon signs, and headlights. Around eight, Nancy and I came across a small Italian place, that looked fancy enough for the guests to wear suits. As I had thought, people were staring. Nancy‘s carefree attitude helped me over it, though. I fairly enjoyed my Risotto. Pasta would have seemed to stereotypical. Nancy picked the wine. I didn‘t know shit about wine, but I liked it. Then again, I probably would have liked the shittiest of wines, if someone decently convincing had told me it‘s good. We both had a few glasses, and before I knew it, I couldn‘t keep my eyes off of her face. Staring into Nancy‘s eyes, like I hadn‘t done in years, didn‘t even feel wrong, or uncomfortable. A feeling settled inside of my stomach, that I couldn‘t quite grasp. It was somewhere between fear, excitement for the new, relishing of the old, and contentment with the here and now. It didn‘t stop when we left the restaurant, hand in hand like we had always been around each other years earlier. It didn‘t stop when we found the bar, and had too much good Bourbon to drink. It didn‘t stop when we more stumbled than walked towards the river, while Nancy asked every single passer by for a cigarette. She ended up earning disgusted, or fearful gazed, and eventually bought a pack.

 

_I felt God in the buildings_  
_The light from the skyscrapers showing up in the river_

 

Around eleven, we settled on a bench with a clear view of Chicago River, that was black as the night sky, reflecting lights from the skyscrapers in an almost ethereal way. All night, I had expected Nancy to burst out in tears. In a way, I had hoped for it. Nothing about her seemed natural, or like her. Like I used to know her. I figured, that explained the fear that mixed with the hurricane of emotions. But she didn‘t cry. Not even in her drunken state, here, where the wind mercilessly blew her hair from one side to the other, and where it was so dark, no one could possibly see us.

 

„Have you ever thought about us?“ she quietly asked, after a long silence. „Since ‘85?“

 

„You and your family?“

 

„You and me.“ Her words made me gulp. There was only one way to answer. Truthfully. The alcohol helped with that. I wouldn‘t have been so honest otherwise.

 

„Not until lately. I mean... until my last breakup. I‘ve been wanting to talk to you. You know, I always told myself, I‘m gonna call tomorrow. But then last Sunday, my mom called me... and things were different. But I don‘t know what I would have said anyways.“

 

„What happened to us?“ I didn‘t know what to respond. _What had happened?_ I had no clue. Or rather, I had no clue _why_ things had gone the way they had.

 

„We wanted different things. But, we never argued, or fought about it, did we?“

 

„No.“ Nancy‘s eyes reflected the city lights more clearly than the river ever could. In that very moment, there was nothing dull about them anymore. It was just her. Another glimpse of the past, that was still lingering between us.

 

„How about now?“ she whispered. „Do we still want different things?“

 

„I don‘t know.“ I admitted. „What is it that you want now?“ I didn‘t fight it, or pull back when she leaned forwards, though I knew I should have. I was drunk. She was drunk. Drunk and out of her mind. It was wrong, but it happened, for the first time in four years.

 

_And four years didn’t seem like much anymore_  
_We both want the same things_  
_We kissed on the corner_  
_We kissed in the corridors_  
_We fumbled with clothing_  
_We all want the same things_  
_And then it was morning_

 

_\--------------------_

 

The hangover certainly wasn‘t the worst I‘d ever had, but it was certainly runner-up. The drive back to Hawkins was pure torture, and while Nancy complained, I was glad we hadn‘t thought of buying batteries for my boombox. Loud music was the last thing I wanted. The silence between us was just as nagging as it had been so many times the day before, maybe even more so, after what had happened last night. The sun was a low hanging, orange one. There wasn‘t a trace left of the rain clouds. All the way home, I saw Nancy fumbling with her hair out of the corner of my eyes. I was planning to get her home, but when we passed the town limits, she spoke for the first time in three hours.

 

„Pull over.“ The driveway to my mom‘s house had already come into view, and to avoid blocking the road, I pulled a few feet into it, and stopped the car, half expecting her to open the door and throw up. Her breathing was certainly heavy enough to indicate it.

 

„How did you do it?“ she suddenly croaked. There it was. The elephant was back. „When you thought Will was... did you think you could... move on?“ The lump in my throat didn‘t allow for words. I killed the engine, before extending my hand, which Nancy took. I flinched at how hard she pressed all of a sudden. She didn‘t look at me. „Mom coming home from the hospital with Mike is the earliest memory I can recall. Did you know that? I was four. I just couldn‘t believe a person could grow from something that small.“ Still, I couldn‘t say anything. There was nothing I could do to make it better. The truth was, I remembered too well how it had felt, when they had dragged that fake body out of the quarry, six years before.

 

„Before I thought I was too grown up for that, I used to dress up for his fantasy campaigns. Like an elf. And I... I really put some effort in memorizing all the lines.“ Nancy‘s pained laughter turned into a heart-wrenching sob. „Then... then he met that girl... and he called her every night. Every single night, for three years, while everyone told him she was dead. I didn‘t know what else... what else he was doing. I would... I could have... Jon, I should have known.“ I barely managed to catch her when she fell over in her seat. I let Nancy lean against me, while she wept, and shivered rhythmically. Minute after minute. Hour after hour. And then, day after day.


End file.
